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Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in Ryan's LiveJournal:

    Monday, March 29th, 2010
    10:49 am
    Fate
    I’ve been thinking a lot about fate lately. What exactly does that word mean? Is it something that is inevitable or perhaps something that is supposed to happen but may be avoided? Freedom of choice is something that we are supposed to be graced with as individual creatures. Are we free to choose the direction of our lives as best as we can or are our lives just feathers on the wind? Maybe it’s both. I pray it’s both. There are too many variables in life for any of us to make truly informed decisions. The thought that we are alone in the universe with no guide to what is right and what is dangerous is a terrifying one. Equally terrifying is the thought that my life is a narrow path leading to some inevitable, sooner-than-I’d-like end. I just look across the room and think, “I may die today in this very room and there is nothing I can do about it.” It makes me want to rebel against life. Makes me want to go out and do something, good or bad, that forces the world to change. Am I fated to die and be unremembered? I hope not. I hope nothing bad happens to my family. I want my wife to walk through the door today and see that everything is all right. I want to embrace her and know that my love for her is fathomless and I want it to be that way forever. I know though that someday, maybe someday soon, that the bad things in the world will come searching for me or the ones I love. I hope I can make a difference for the better when it’s time. I hope I can change the fate of someone I love or my own. I hope.
    Tuesday, January 19th, 2010
    6:22 pm
    Magic birthday.
    Happy birth day to me.
    woot
    i..
    feel....
    so.....
    excited.........
    ...................

    In other news I bought some new magic cards from a friend for 30 bucks. Not many. Less than a 1000 (Which sounds like alot but those of you that play know the truth.) Turns out I have accedentaly genked him. Found over $450 in cards retail all near mint. One worth over $100.
    *Evil chuckle*
    I don't feel bad. He said he hadn't even looked at them in over 10 years and at least they won't be sitting around collecting dust any more.
    Monday, December 28th, 2009
    11:22 am
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MARLINYA!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU!
    Sunday, November 22nd, 2009
    11:00 am
    I call bullshit.
    I shall now pose a question. This question is not an attempt to insult anyone. It is my simple curiosity getting the better of me.

    Question: Has anyone ever heard of www.snopes.com?

    I use this site often when I see something on the internet that seems questionable. Most stuff I get in forwarded e-mails from my family is nonsense that takes about 30 seconds to prove false on snopes. Other stuff is a little more sneaky. Like pre-edited videos of Obama getting snubbed in Russia for a handshake. Or other video "evidence" of something outrageous. But a lot of the time they show up on snopes as true or false (mostly false) also.

    Second question: Am I the last skeptical mind on Earth or are there others out there like me?

    I once confronted my aunt about this as she had recently forwarded some nonsense about not helping people at gas stations because they were handing out poisoned business cards. Her response to finding out that it was fake and the last 10 e-mails she had also sent me were also fake was "That's okay. At least this stuff makes people wary that things aren't always what they seem and they will be safer."
    My faith in humanity was shaken to it's core by her flippant answer. Seriously, it's okay to spread lies that make people afraid of everyday interactions with others because the lies are good for society?!? My parents still send out crazy forwarded e-mails that are the same thing. Nothing but a pack of bold faced lies!

    So I have decided...I am going to call bullshit on you if you send me crap like this. If no one else will do it then I will. If you send crap to me that you didn't take 30 seconds to check ONE website to see if it's true or false and it turns out to be fake I am going to forward your e-mail back to you and everyone I know with the subject line "This e-mail was sent to me by "whoever sent it" and it is complete BULLSHIT."

    And yes, I even check when the e-mails says "I checked this on snopes." Most of those are bullshit too.
    Saturday, May 24th, 2008
    7:52 am
    I'm so sorry.
    All you women out there that I know were dying to get a a chunk of Ryan meat...you are too late. :)  I am married to Marlena.

    I have never been so happy in my whole life. I am not alone in my life's path. I now have someone that I can turn to to share all my soul.

    I'm still madly in love. I can't imagine this feeling ever going away.

    I'm in love and married to Marlena.
    Thursday, January 10th, 2008
    1:05 pm
    Feelisofical question.
    Can God create a rock so big that even he couldn't lift it?

    An oooold question but a good one.
    Friday, June 8th, 2007
    9:32 am
    A poem By Lord Xarr
    The Dark Side of Love

    "Something awful lives and breathes beneath my skin.
    It's something full of hate and malaise that grows with every sin.

    It hates everything including me and scars my very mind.
    I convulse with its power and leave my love behind.

    I'll soon die and belong to it; there's no way I can fight.
    Soon I'll stand consumed by it, an unholy bleeding knight.

    I'll be the worst thing that has ever happened since the devil fell.
    The only difference between me and him is I'll have the Earth as my accursed hell.

    You have stood beside my through all this and now our time is at an end.
    There is no way you can stop this, my love, it's a law you couldn't even bend.

    I'm doomed to stand alone in all this darkness I have made.
    Please my dear I beg you, run and hide and hope I fade."

    I drop to my bleeding knees and spew forth my broken soul.
    "I sold my life for your love and now I must pay the toll."

    My whole body twists and I begin to die.
    I scream and howl in pain, "Don't die because of me!" I cry.

    I finally fade away and a monster is all that's left.
    I roar my rage into the night and reach to steal her very breath.

    I stop before I get to her and know that something's wrong
    She speaks to me, and though I don't understand, her voice is like a song.

    "You sold your soul to me my love and have belonged to me from the start.
    Now that I know what you would do for me I'm yours soul and heart."

    She puts her hands on my head and kisses my wicked face.
    I see behind her bright blue eyes a darkness from another place.

    I know I am now one with her and we'll be together till the end of time.
    I belong to her now and she is forever mine.

    She pulls me close in a warm embrace and whispers in my ear.
    "Kill them all for me my love." She says just loud enough for me to hear.

    I laugh aloud with and evil howl and turn to greet the world.
    The Earth trembles with a cold new fear as it awaits our wrath unfurled.
    Sunday, June 3rd, 2007
    7:43 pm
    Hm...
    What a strange world. Here I sit at my beautiful girlfriend's computer...I have plenty of house work to do so I can busy my mind and all I can think about is that I wish she was here.

    Less that two months ago I was living on my own, by myself without a care in the world except work, food, sleep and my own entertainment.

    On another note...I think I've thought of something I hate worse than packing up to move...UNPACKING!

    Moving sucks.
    Friday, May 25th, 2007
    11:47 pm
    Bah!
    Moving sucks! So do brothers with bad attitudes. Especially brothers with bad attitudes that  leave huge gouges in your wall while moving furniture THAT YOU GAVE HIM FOR FREE out of your apartment. I swear that this whole "nice guy" thing I try to maintain causes me undue pain. However, nice guys don't always finish last. Some times nice guys fall in love and by some miracle get loved back. :)

    I guess that sounds kinda dumb...but I'm telling no lies. Makes me feel better to say it too.
    Thursday, May 10th, 2007
    11:16 pm
    HOLY FREAKING CRAP!
    Stop what you're doing. Now, sit back and think for a second. What were you thinking? Did you think you could just get away with that? I mean give me a break! You sick sad little unimportant person. You're actions make me sick. It should make YOU sick. I almost can't believe you've done this. But my pitifully small amount of respect for the human species is once again proven to be the correct attitude. I feel ill. You and your kind make me want to vomit blood. And to think I'm genetically related to you. *Gag*


    I wish I could have been there for Paris Hilton's birth so I could have said that to her mother.
    Friday, April 27th, 2007
    1:16 am
    Hmm.
    This could be an interesting diversion from time to time.
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